Grieving
by ladybug114
Summary: "They were a family now- a family that had just lost one of their own." Very sad AU to F.Z.Z.T. Warnings inside.


**A/N: I don't really know where this came from, honestly. This fic was written faster than anything I've ever done- it was literally written and edited within 18 hours. To those of you following my Avengers/AoS x-over, I am still working on that, and it will be posted as soon as possible.**

**Warnings:**** Character death, hints of self-harm, basically a very sad fic**

They all grieved.

They called themselves a team, but they weren't. Not anymore. They had seen too much, experienced too much, to be just a team. They were a family now- a family that had just lost one of their own.

So they grieved- of course they grieved.

To Coulson, she had become like a daughter to him- and he had to make the call. Her father first, as she had requested- he owed her that much. It wasn't taken very well, but both father and mother had understood the risks from the beginning, and they would heal with time.

Coulson knew that he had to be the strong one, but it was hard. Too hard. His team was looking to him, their leader, for answers... and he had none to give. So he stayed away, away from their grief-filled eyes, away from the questions he had no answers for.

May grieved because, honestly, the girl didn't deserve it.

_Just a kid._

It was true, she was too young, shouldn't even have been in the field, shouldn't have been exposed, shouldn't have had to make that call. Shouldn't have died.

Emotions were hard for May, so she only grieved on the inside. The others thought she didn't care, just because she didn't show it, but that was wrong. Dead wrong. She cared, she grieved, but she could only do it in secret.

Skye grieved the girl she never really knew. They could have been friends, she thinks, but there were- are- too many secrets. There are always too many secrets. Skye lives in a world of secrets, and she grieves the girl who will always be a mystery.

She lets herself cry, at first, but she can't much longer. So she throws herself into the work, learning everything she can to help. And if the keyboards and screens have small droplets on them, well, no one really cares.

Ward blames himself, of course. He should have gotten there quicker, jumped sooner, fallen faster. Done better. If he had, maybe she wouldn't have hit the water at all, maybe he could have given her the anti-serum, maybe she would still be alive. There are too many "should have"s, too many "maybe"s, and Ward can't do it anymore.

He finds himself in the gym more, too often. But he thinks that maybe if he runs a little faster, punches a little harder, then he'll forget how he failed. It's never enough, he can't forget, but he keeps trying.

Fitz... Fitz dies when she does. They're a set, everyone knows that, and without her, he's nothing. Nothing. He's never the same.

He cries, but just at first. Then he's just... empty. He doesn't do anything, doesn't say anything, just sits in the lab every day, trying not to remember. But he can't forget. The look on her face, right before she jumped, is burned in his memory. He can't sleep- he sees her face every time he closes his eyes. She used to be his comforter, now her face haunts his every moment.

They don't last long after her death. Coulson stays in his office for days at a time, while May never seems to leave the cockpit. Skye is at the computer every hour of every day, but it never helps. Ward has new bandages every day, they all see them, but nobody comments. They might have, before, but none of them can blame him now. And Fitz falls apart. He can't go into a lab without breaking down anymore, and he's the first to go. Just quits SHIELD completely, cutting ties with all of them.

After that, the team is done. Both their scientists gone, their fighters not in fighting shape, their leader not ready to lead.

Their team was special, once. It could have been so much more- THEY could have been so much more. But they were a family- and families could never really recover from so much grieving.

**A/N: I'm sorry.**

**please review?**


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